Summertime 2014

Well, isn't God an awesome God?  Isn't He worthy of all of our praise?  He makes ways out of noways and believers out of doubters and blesses beyond measure. My soul cries out hallelujah and thank you Jesus. Last year we were without a home today we celebrate more than 1 month in a 3 bedroom house with a full basement. And we couldn't be more happier.  To God be the almighty Glory. How did it happen when for months all we heard were denials after denials,  no after no. God made a provision for us and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. #Grateful 

2014. . .

2014....Take it back!

Where's the restart button?
I'd pay to have a restart!
Or even a rewind button.

This life cannot be what God calls me for.
Unhappy, unfulfilled,  bored, unchallenged,  broke, defeated,  lonely,  empty.

My life, my life. . .2014 life! *sigh*

Dialysis. ..lifealysis

There is a reason I am not a nurse....it's because I don't like whiney people.  *dead serious* first treatment was Sunday (3/2/14) & it was something to get used to. What a life change! Hope the patient gets himself together!

Still crying. . .still standing

As nice as I could I put it into words.  No anger,  simple words of the heart.  Didn't get much reaction just that I don't speak and spend too much time on my phone.  Who else should I turn to when the true person I want attention from is only a shell of someone I used to know!???!??!!

My heart,  my mind and my soul are all alone.

2.18.2014

2.17.2014

My heart cries louder than any voice!
My heart is heavier than a million tons!

My mind races faster than the speed of light. My mind has a trillion thoughts.

My soul runs deeper than the longest ocean. My soul is sweeter than the fruit forbidden.

Overlooked and forgotten,
My heart, my mind and soul
broken and taken for granted.

2014. . .

I sure hope that the first month is no indication of what to expect for the rest of the year.  Still living with family.  Got in a car accident that totaled my car. Only get back the car's worth not what I owe. In constant pain over it and no relief or empathy from anyone,  not a single person.  Missing time from work.  Not getting paid for it either. I hate praying for money but that certainly is missing in this equation. ..In abundance.  House. Car (s). Good Credit. Security.  Clothes. Piece of mind. These are my prayers for 2014.

Took the family to a spend the weekend at a hotel and aside from being able to make noise it wasn't much enjoyed.  The kids enjoyed the pool and the free breakfast but no one said thank you- I try to do what I can without complaint but when I'm doing and you're taking the very least you should feel compelled to do is utter a simple thank you...NOT "so where's my birthday gift".

Then spent the day walking to and fro in a big hospital with major back pains - again no thank you.  Was forced to go to my doctor appointment alone and with 5 kids. No explanation until after. ..to me I feel like I'm at the bottom of the totem pole and I'm just support not wanted simply needed. In my feelings! 

The 1 good thing is I saw more of Vanessa. She's maturing beautifully and boy is she just like me. Haahaa!

Thanksgiving 2013

As I sit in front of a storage unit where all of my life's belongings sit, I still look to the Hills from which cometh my strength and faith! I may not have a permanent residence but my kids have a roof over their heads and their lives have remained  sort of normalcy. My heart aches everyday but I know that better is coming. My marriage has been put to the test but for better or worse my God has sent a partner for my weak days. I believe in my soul that God is preparing us to be a mighty blessing to someone.....soon! We may be uncomfortable now but don't count us out. Today I am grateful... eternally grateful For the family I married into. Gratefulfor the mother in law that selfishly gives of herself daily for others! Grateful For a church family and Pastor that pray for me and encourage me when I'm down. Today I am grateful for my own faith because where would I be? Thank you God for loving me. Happy Thanksgiving.
11.28.2013