Officially 35

Nothing spectacular. Didn't expecte much and that's what I got. Nice cards from the spouse and kids. Strawberries delivered and another card from work. A few cute calls from coworkers. It was nice. Dinner with some friends to top it off. Not how I would have planned it but who loves me more than me!!!  God and he let me be there so for THAT I'm grateful! I'll take #36 into my own hands.

Deal!

As much as u want people to change, the only person you can change is yourself and how you choose to deal with them. This weekend away at Knoebels was nice. But clear that some change is still needed if I choose to continue to deal with the same people.

Confused

I will never fully understand what motivates or triggers ignorance. If u don't want to be associated with someone, then don't. If someone doesn't make u happy, move on. If everything they say, do and breathe irritates you - move on. Don't stay for the kids, for show, out of fear or any other random reason but above all else don't stay just to lie, cheat or destroy what once was a friendship - people envied and admired. #Sad #Reality

Amazing

Amazing is how I can control my mouth lately. So I fell asleep and someone thought it was okay to slam their hand and down on the sofa and yell my name.....well! That was awakening in FULL METAL JACKET form to me. I was pissed  to say the least. But fast forward to this morning and that person has sent me an email and text saying how I don't care and how I always fall asleep and don't care about them and how if they did that I would be complaining, yada yada yada....Really dude. Ur amazing right now. I have no words for u, literally. So silence it is.

Release

Sometimes a little sincerity goes a long way. If you love someone, tell them. If you care about someone, show them. The saying goes "Actions speak louder than words". I agree and disagree. U can show show someone u care buying them flowers or a new toy they long for or even treating them to a massage or taking them to their favorite place. That would be ur actions speaking. On the flip side, if you scream "u make me sick" or mumble "stupid ass" when u think they aren't listening, that will also speak volumes and resonate in their mind over a period of time. Ur words are like swords and ur actions are like daggers. U can't sugar coat either one. U can disguise it to look like anything other than what it is. Love is love. Lust is lust. Tolerance is sad. . . .what are you showing and speaking?

Not friends huh?

How do u move on from a broken friendship? One day you're sharing ur life and dreams and talking ur heart out and they drop "hey ,u know I don't tell u stuff because I don't feel comfortable with you". WTF is that about?  I been ur friend, thick and thin, shared my most intimate details of my world with u what in the hell does this mean ?? Oh but we're still cool u say?? I say " no the EFF we ain't?" I am still processing this but walking with blurred vision

Trading one heartache for another

One week ago my life CHANGED. And not the change I would wish on ANYONE! Someone didn't think of the full ramifications of their twisted version of the truth. Someone didn't think that a family would be torn apart. But this family was build on something stronger than paper. Built on faith. Not in MAN . . .but in a KING, a HEALER, a PROVIDER, a LORD: MY GOD!!  we are being used for a mighty testimony! We confess with our mouths and GOD will forgive and let man forgive. Praying for a mighty move in my life. Praying for forgiveness, for a forgiving heart, praying for understanding, praying for healing, praying for knowledge. Praying he shows up on time....not my time, but RIGHT on time. I love u JC!

Valentine's Day?? No Feb 14 will NEVER BE THE SAME

I wake up to what should be a normal day. Received a sweet kiss from the husband to start off my day. When I arrived at my desk at work, my boss left me 5 beautiful roses and a card of appreciation. Traffic was smooth sailing! Good day, made plans to take the family out for dinner . . . I had a GREAT day. Went to pick up kids from daycare, Tyler said the fire department came to talk to him. I say okay you can tell me about it in the truck. In the truck he proceeds to say they made him take his clothes off and took pictures! I STOPPED the truck and said "they did WHAT??!!" Who? Did what? Why? My day went from great to Fucking Unbelievable in point three seconds.